Sunday, November 13, 2011

Missing: little jar.

Ive lost it. Ive lost it all.

I thought I had it all bottled up in me and when I wanted to share with friends or real loves a tiny bit would spill out and I changed a little something in that person or even with myself. I was happy, it made them and myself delightful!

I had this special secret bottle filled with all my thoughts, feelings, cares, memories, jokes, inspirations. So on. It made me who I am. It made me an individual.

Im never one to completly give myself away. When I meet you you have to work extremely hard for the bottle to even open up. And once you screw something up its just that much harder to get into again.

Its guarded by all the most awful ferocious creatures in this world. Lions, hippos, eels and scorpions. I only let select few in. Even those who think they have had some of this special elixir have not.
Not even close. Not even some of the closest friends.
Its my most romantically dark side. Its the person who Ive always wanted to be and strive for. But you can't just show that side of you to anyone just all the time.

It would come off as fake and no one would really understand it anyway.

So its in a bottle-- well more like a jar. I picture it as a jar thats sealed so tightly. Its really lovely. Not over decorated just perfect and simple.
So this liquid, in a jar is guarded by bears and lions and the sort, in this spot in my heart.
Its almost even running low....not that I share with everyone. Its just...when your sad...
When you feel really low. It kind of evaporates. You just start to loose it. You get depressed and the elixir itself finds a mind of its own and just slowly leaves your body.
You as the host for this living breathing animal becomes unfit. You cannot happily support this organism. It realizes this, and slowly evaporates from your body. When that happens..

You lose your drive, passion...lose interest in almost everything.

I hate to put the blame on someone. Im never one to blame. Thats what the rest of my silly family is for. They like to blame.
But honestly someone stole my secret jar from me.
I don't know who stole it. But I know everyone stole it.

I wouldn't say that it slowly leaked away from me...some has.
I won't be a goddamned liar, over the years much much has slipped away from me. We all have to go through some really bad shit and we are just supposed to deal.  But now even the goddamned jar is missing. Why take an empty jar? It could have slowly filled up again! Baffles me.

Maybe ill have my little jar back again. I try to look on the bright side. And I have good..wait..exceptionally extraordinary people in my life that have helped me not be a total zombie.

Its just weird you've had something your entire life and then its gone and you don't even get to keep the goddamned jar. is to new beginnings. buck up. the end isn't as close as you think.

I might find a new jar that someone left behind. ill find it, clean it my own.
I always do find the most amazing things second hand.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

as of late..

Ive always been a huge fan of Peter and the Wolf by Prokofiev. Its always held a special place in my heart since elementary school. Learning about each instrument in music class and how all the characters are perfectly paired up to each instrument to make the story really come to life.

The first time I ever came across the music was the Disney animation. hah. It was cute but it really cant compare to the life in this one. Besides....Disney is a corporation run by Satan :)
I love this piece of music sooo much. But honestly this is the BEST animation for the story EVER. I have always been a huge fan of claymation/animation. In school my friends and I would get together and make movies, I respect the art of claymation to say the least. Tough stuff. Takes patience.

But what I absolutely love about this animation is its done so amazingly well! hah! It has so much character and incredibly artsy <3 beautful !


Monday, September 12, 2011

what im listening to....

A friend of mine just bought me this album on vinyl. ahh-mazing.
This entire album is filled with some intense beats, eerie vocals, and it gives off such an incredible  sexual ambiance. Its all Ive been listening/dancing to lately.
Dont get me wrong this video is NOT sexual in any way. More like horror! But I guess in some horror i always find some sick sexual fantasy. haaah!
I know this came out a minute ago, im late. But such an amazing gift!

good night all.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

This is my life.

This picture above proves just how GREAT my friends are...
My birthday was the 4th and honestly I had no plans. All my friends told me they had to work or had labor day plans with their folks, yada yada.
I really wasnt feeling the love. So I went out to st. pete that morning and had a wonderful day. I got home around 9pm and opened the door to a house full of people screaming SURPRISE! to me.
I was in shock.
They kept this secret from me so sooo well. I was extremely moved from this, I was tearing up.
I later felt like such an asshole..."why dont my friends wanna hang out with me?"
haa haa little did I know.....
Needless to say the entire party was Harry Potter themed (Im a dork) and even some of my friends dressed the part (more pictures to come)
There was the goblet of sangria and streamers and plates and decor to match.
Lots of drinking and talking to people I havent seen in years!!
I cant thank my friends enough or really even explain to them how happy they made me. I love my life so much because they are a part of it...
I will never forget this as long as I live.
had to share...

Let them know you realize that life goes fast,
Its hard to make the good things last,
You realize the sun dont go down,
Its just an illusion, cause by the world spinning round


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

wow...I still have a blog??

Sorry kiddos its been to long! So much has happened in my life recently and then my computer killed over. Life is great though, I moved in with two of the most amazing people in this world and couldnt be happier. We live in this incredible house

and honestly it is hooked up!
I haven't had a lot of time with the art scene but I'm extremely excited to start up some somethin somethin in our HUGE art room in the back of the house. So much possibility!
I do have some new art on my self though...
wonky picture :p
Life couldn't be better, I really cant wait to dive into my future projects and begin on some inspiring ideas I have had on the back burner now for some time.
Most importantly I am stoked to work on myself.
My personal life has been kind of a wreck but I am now out of that funk and wanting to get out there-meet people, network, start a band ;)
Ive joined a gym! Only good things can happen from that right?!
But anyway just thought Id pop in to say hey and that I'm still around! 

Friday, May 20, 2011

life gets in the way

But I have new shtuff! :)

                                                                     SWISS ROLLS!
                                 this one was fun to make, its silly but at least it wont melt on your head!

                                                                        Hip Indian

                                                                       small purple bow

hope to see you soon!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Music destruction

First! New keyboard, yay! All is right again in the world. 
My thing has been destroying records, putting them back together and making them into hats.
I showed a few of them in my last show. Everyone liked the concept and I got some great feedback and more ideas. In my last blog I wrecked an old tape and sewed it to a headband. I really like how it turned out and im going to keep on with my music destruction.
I love music, all kinds really. Playing it, messing around on my piano, guitar a tad, and most recently my kid accordion! What better way to prove my love then dismantle them?!

                                       My most recent damaged recording device is this blue mini disc.
                                                  The disc and tulle are sewn onto a headband.

                                    This little yellow flower fascinator is attached to a clear elastic band.
                                              I find elastic bands are more stable in my hair then clips.
            If I can ride my scooter and it doesn't budge going 40mph then it can stay strong through anything!

Happy Monday <3

Friday, May 6, 2011




Saturday, April 30, 2011

Its been a minute...

since my last post.
I haven't even created much since my last post....Im slackin...
But I have gotten into a few other creative things. I started some new sketches/drawings. Practicing my accordion! Videos to come. Definitely writing down all my ideas, just procrastinating. A lot.
But Ive been looking forward to starting my new job Monday! Kinda putting all my efforts and thoughts towards that at the moment. Probably over thinking it and worrying about it. But still an undying positive attitude. :)

Sunday (tomorrow) is my old job's last Shabang! Borders Bookstore employees are all getting together to eat, drink and be merry one last time together.
Some of you may or may not know that Borders went out of business and left MANY jobless. But that's not what I want to talk about. I could go on and on about the awful side of the Borders story....   
But with all the bad that has happened, so much good has come out of it and honestly made me the better person I am today.
Ive made life long friends, meet some extraordinary people and had a fun time doing it all.
I started there when I was 18. For being young and not having a whole lot of world/life experience this place really molded me into the individual Ive become. Ive learned so much.
My best friends that I constantly hangout with the most are now (like me) ex employees of that store.
From the books to all the cool regulars. (Because god knows we did have those AWFUL regulars that made our lives hell) Hah and the coffee tooo!
That why the pictures im about to show you are devastating....  These pictures really ripped my heart out.
I know it was just some job. ''Dont be to upset, life goes on."
But it was MY job and I knew it was the one thing in this entire world that I knew I could do, and do it well! And actually liked doing it!
One day I WILL start my on shop. :)

OUR BACK ROOM-Blasting our radio in the back here as LOUD as it would go. Dance parties while washing the dishes.Listening to new music/dancing our hearts out. going up front and managers telling us to turn it down. telling each other about the last asshole we just rang up. Not caring about the future just the now. many texts. many phone calls. im not cleaning the bathrooms!

Hah. Flirting. OMG that last guy was a hottie! secrets. storys. MANY funny quotes. notes,notes,notes. crying. hugging. that outfit is bad ass! your hair looks amazing today. no your makeup is incredible! Movies. FUCK! parties. lots of parties. we going out tonight?  where is the lion? 
                                                  the laughs.LAUGHING.constant laughter.

Much inside stuff. But man if this back room could talk... i wish i had a word to describe how entertaining it would all be. The girls and I should make a movie. Seriously.
Im excited to see everyone together again one last time.

Where everybody knows your name...
<3 We really were like Cheers

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Hip Indian

 New addition:

small headdress

 I like that the tulle had a mind of its own.

Last Sunday was a wonderful day off with the boyfriend. Beach, sunburns, and kite flying.

(Batman kite) XD

This Sunday we are looking forward to Easter dinner with my Aunt and Uncle. None of us are religious at all...its really just an excuse to hangout with each other and have a couple of cocktails!

Hope your holiday is just as nice ;)

Saturday, April 16, 2011


Made some mulberry pastry's today. I actually picked the berries from a tree in our apartment complex.
Still need to cut it up but had to have a taste first :) Its my first time using this flaky pastry, turned out well.

I've been a little behind on my blogging. But I now have better pictures of my work. I'm modeling them but you can see how they will fit the shape of your head better then my styrofoam ladies.
I'm only putting a few up, the rest will go on my facebook fan page :!/   
(top right corner of my blog if you wanna check it out, and "Like" it :p)

Indian style headband with bronze leaves and a single peacock feather.

Ceramic cherries I found and repainted, added the fabric fascinator and sewed them onto a headband. Its actually really light and one of my favorites at the moment. 

Owl fascinator

Small cameo hat with black tulle veil

I swear I'm not vain D:
Besides, I make to many goofy faces...
My friend Megan said she would model some things for me soon. Then you wont have to see my mug all the time!


Monday, April 11, 2011

Of the masculine sort...

Today was a day full of work, job hunting, and making spaghetti. Its been a swell day and now its chillax time. 
I also watched this movie about staying positive and when you truly and honestly believe in the goals and dreams and wishes you set for yourself, you can accomplish them.
Hard work always helps too :)
I don't mean to sound like a total hippie but I really feel that the universe is open to you and your positive 'tude'. And really...if things don't happen for you at least you will always be on the happy thoughts path, and who doesn't want to be around a happy, positive thinking person? Right?
good things happen to good people.

some pictures:
          The meaning of the name is from a Germanic compound meaning "bear-hardy" or "brave as a bear".

                                   derives from the Old French roussel (red-haired or red-skinned)

More to come.....

Saturday, April 9, 2011

I like fruit.

                             Made this headband a while ago but wore it out for the first time last night. 
                                                                        Lemon head
 Mondo Mega sale at the craft store today. Half to 70% off on all flowers/floral everything. Many-a-good buys! Also found some bitchin leopard print heals and a silver vintage looking clutch at the second hand store. Oh and some red suspenders with blue stripes. Hope I can pull them off, maybe with a white shirt and gray skinny jeans. If all else fails they will always look good on the boyfriend. :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

I feel tragic like Im Marlon Brando when I look at my little Korean girl...

Done with work now on to the weekend and the job I love ;)
Started fiddling with eye patches! Seems a bit wonky but I can make it work.
Soon Lady Gaga will be picking these up from moi! Hah

I also finished this little fascinator about a week ago. I wanted to put it in the art show but the paint wasn't dry. 

I found these little Korean shoes the other day while looking through the nic-nacs in the thrift store. They called to me....We would love to be a headband, where us with that short asian print dress you will look hott... :P

So I scooped them up, made a fabric fascinator and added some chopsticks that I painted black.

Think i might just wear it out tonight!

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

More pictures and looking forward

My art display in all of its glory!

Great pictures taken by Art Taco!
I will be starting an Etsy account soon! Just need some more pictures of new work and I should be on my way. Went thrifting today and found this beautiful vintage seafoam dress.

It fits perfectly and goes great with my hair AND it was only $1.99! Im just wondering if I should alter it a bit. Like maybe make it short sleeves or sleeveless or maybe take up the length. Or just leave it.... I need some feedback people! :)
I would love to wear it now but with this Florida weather Im not sure if I can do the long sleeves.
Out and about today I also found a great scarf/kerchief that I could easily make into a headband.

Great find day! Goodnight :)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Art Taco for the win!!

I have some great friends! Art Taco featured yours truly in one of his wonderful blogs. Its all about the Square One Art event- Man on the Moon! But don't take my word for it  CHECK IT OUT!

 My display!

Thanks for all of the lovely pictures Art Taco!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Incredible Art show and overall amazing night!

I honestly had one of the best days of my life yesterday. The entire day was just easy going yet marvelous. It started with me getting up to go set up for the art show. Had coffee and cigarettes on the porch and enjoyed the wonderful weather with the boyfriend.
We have a wonderful view of a japanese  plum tree in full bloom where we get to enjoy all the little squirrels and birdies eat and play. 
The set up at the show had me a little worried and stressed but after being there for a moment we figured things out and had it done in no time. Went to the amazing Wrights Deli and had a bite for lunch. Serious comfort food. If you are ever in Tampa you need to check out Wrights. Its always busy but its definitely worth the wait. Big, fat, delicious monster size sandwiches. Yum.

So after the well deserved meal we got to just hang out together. Its weird being so busy with your art that you finally realize...oh...I can chill, the show is today....Ive been working so hard I really felt it was time to relax and not feel guilty about it.
We then got dressed and ready for the show. We seriously looked like straight up ballers walking in that place. Dressed to the nines, no worries, the haters now bowing before us. ;)
It was a great feeling.

We had some time to stop by and check out the other artist that really caught our attention. We had a few favorites already in mind like our friends at Cutteeth- Hunter Thompson and Case Max. Awesome dudes with GREAT work. this is there site:

I also have to brag about the lovely and extremely talented girlie that set up next to me Ashley Gilbert. Not only is she a killer painter she is an extremely sweet girl. Her work speaks for itself:

Another gal that I meet with extreme talent & let me have two S hooks (that were much needed and very appreciated :)) Melissa Oraath

Two other people I got to hang out with for some of the night was Luis and Lydia. Two amazing people with hearts the size of Texas and an undying appreciation for ALL art. Thanks for all the help and support guys.
Luis has a phenomenal fine arts blog: 

Thank you to all of my friends that came out to the show. It really meant so much to see you all.
I will have pictures up soon!

Friday, April 1, 2011

One Last time...

One last post about the show.

Be there or be square.
I will be there in all my glory! Hah! Hope to see you all there!

And some new ones....

Rose Fascinator

                                                                                                  loves me, loves me not...

Purple Fascinator